jolog pala ha! (super konyo strikes back)

Today’s Current Emo Mode: We Used To Be Friends – Dandy Warhols

Foremost, let me declare some very, very crispy eee-weee to the jolog crowd. You know. That part of the populace that was like, being tawagged as “baduy” in the 70s and “bakya” in the 80’s. Iiiii-wiiii talaga.

Like my ex boyps tawagged me as a “jolog” was not degradation enough ‘no. He didn’t kinda explain pa why he tawagged me as such! Giiiir. So inis talaga me. This heart of mine was kinda bleeding talaga po. Because of his kaburgisan, he made mata-mata lang my tatsulok role in the social status as if I’m not paying the taxes to the gobyerno like he does. So pakingshet talaga that guy. Hmf.

I was’t able to tulog in my makeshift kama talaga that night. Am I a jolog ba because I only suot some tsinelas and my soo kakadireee fingers in the paa are not cultured in some spa for the paa salon and was an ex-almost-ingrown-victim? Gawd. I so remember I always tsinelas myself (not Havaianas) even if I go to pangmayaman places like restos in Makati, The Fort, Timog and Ortigas. Eni eni, people were like eeee-wing to my luya-like toenails talaga. Ineees talaga them. O ayan! Here’s my talampakan. You amoy na the singaw coming from my pawisin foot.

Or am I some jolog kasi the only mall I’m familiar with is like SM lang and not some Rockwell or Rustans? Eeeee-weee. I even still ligaw myself when I ikot in the Glorietta no! And such shame na I wasn’t able to go pa to that Market Market sosy place. (Like market is often associated to pobre-ish palengke. And naming such dapat sosy place Market Market is so ridiculous. Whoever came up with that idea!! Just because it’s the English translation of palengke, sosyal na!). O di kaya, in some Greenbelt where I often see so many Pinoys of all kinds making kapit-tuko to their foreigner boyps, notwithstanding their guy’s innate racial amoy and obesity. Giiiiir. Dayum. Gash ha, in the amoy pa lang, these malls are obviously catering na to the different genres of the people of this pakingshet Pilipins no.

Speaking of that sosyal Rockwell once. I was with my other ex boyps, some tsekwa in the making. I was in my ever reliable tsinelas (cue: Yano song). Then the gwardya, a part of this eeee-weee jolog crowd, sita me in front of the people and almost didn’t make me enter! Yaaaaaaaaaak talaga. So I flaunted na lang my fake English accent and gaya my ex boyp tsekwa’s accent. So there, I halo-halo all the accents I knew so I could come up with a foreign language so the gwardiya would be convinced I’m a Vietnamese or Thai foreigner na. Hay. Grabe. I’m not a matinggera naman noh that I will nakaw eni eni inside that pakingshet mall. Or baka they didn’t want some tarnishment in their sosy reputation and their burgis crowd afraiding themselves because some holdupper/squatter looking jolog was roaming around that Rockwell.

And I thought, was I a jolog because I adik myself to local tv shows, some tagalog driven plots, stories and acting that are meant for katulongs and tinderas and all the members of the working class that have nothing to do at night but watch tv? Gash talaga. These elitistas, they fancy themselves with Hollywood stuff, they are being pakalunod by its katae-han coz they think it’s kind of a civilized version of entertainment compared to the pangkatulong soap operas and fantaseryes. And they claim that eeee-weee, “I don’t watch Tagalog movies no!” Sige na nga, payn. Pakshet you all. Most Hollywood tv shows may be great but most Hollywood films are tae in everything no. They’re just glossy but their films are mostly comparably tae with the Pinoy films. Kaya, all of you elitistas who love Hollywood films but don’t watch Tagalogs, pakyu.

Gash. Now that I thought of it na, probably my ex elitista boyps thought I’m jologs coz I mura my mouth like all the squatters who live beside their rich village. Eeee-wee. Like I always say tangena or pakshet or siyeeet as pronounced. Without the pretentious English accent pa. And I subsitute “hey” with “wuy”. Gash. Wonga no. Never did I sabi some “so fetch” or “ayt” and not even did I say “kain na me” or “wat gawa u” in the text. Huwaaaaaah.

If these were so, then I’m a jolog alright. But then again, why do I have to be hiya myself being called so. Like majority of the Pinoys in the universe are jologs. If this term they coined to downgrade their tingin to the masa and separate themselves as gods in the tatsulok status quo, these minority elitistas are MORE jologs and are the real jologs actually, for being worshippers of foreign ideas other than their own—and por dat, they’re educated na daw, intelehensiya crowd na. You know, some high-brow art only they can appreciate kuno. They think highly of themselves because they dala some branded things in their bodies but the truth is, they also ebak and sungkit their kulangots like anybody else.

Most importantly, the masa who coined these elitistas as “coño” are very brilliant. My konyo ex boyps, flaunting his riches, loving this term as he is being tawagged by it not knowing that “coño” is the Chavacano word for puke. Buwaaahahaha. Belat (some pun intended coz bilat is the Visayan version of puke also).

Haaaay. Yawn.. Yawn..

Eeeee-weee! Eeee-weeee!!!  Kadereeee!!! Some lacoste making a “tsk tsk tsk” sound over my kisame jumping over my face!!! Eweeeeeeee.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged by bebs. Bookmark the permalink.

9 thoughts on “jolog pala ha! (super konyo strikes back)

  1. ‘Nuf said. hehe. mamatay na sila lahat. wahahahaha. oh you beri eating at TriNoMa, not inviting me. tsk. tsk. tsk.

    eniwei, pakyu silang lahat.

  2. haha, yes, eating at TriNoMa and not inviting me also…

    bwahahaha…namiss ko tuloy si Super Konyo, kahit nagmemelt siya sa sunlight.

    and i love this lacoste on your kisame. eee-weeee

  3. buwhahaa. ohyes ayn. i guess that was sort of an impulse trinoma thingy. haha.

    ohhhhh i miss super konyo na rin! buhay pa ba ang prototype niya? haha

  4. alam ko niligpit ko siya somewhere. pero yucky na siguro yun, kumusta naman ang clay na may halong lupa, grass at kung anu-ano pang dumi. hehe.

  5. bandwagon. you! eating at trinoma and not inviting me?!!? OH, wait, YOU NEVER INVITED ME TO/FOR ANYTHING! Besides making me kaladkad to Rex’s grad party.

    ey, mas maganda yung layout mo ngayon. great choice. 😉

    you are sooo not jologs. i mean, YOU?! jologs?! YOU?!? WAHAHAHAHAHAHA. God were they sane?

  6. haven’t i dimenic?? buwhahhaha. oh. nagkakataon. don’t allegate.

    oh, yeah, but i have to change the header though.

    i know i’m not jologs. i just love being understated.

  7. Brilliant post, although I had trouble understanding it because of the mixture of Tagalog and English. That being said, I think your post is very insightful, and you make a lot of very good points that I realized only after living in Canada for a couple of years. When I was still living in the Philippines, I was one of those “konyo” people; I thought myself above watching Tagalog movies or shows, and as you mentioned, I never wore “tsinelas” to the mall because I thought that was “jologs.” Basically, I was ignorant, maybe even a snob.

    It took a couple of years of living in Canada for me to realize that many of the elite people in the Philippines are self-absorbed and ignorant simply because they don’t know and weren’t taught any better; they live in their own konyo world, despising their own Philippine culture and placing the Western one (the Hollywood movies, as you said) or Korean and Japanese one above it. It makes me sad, really. It was not until I left the Philippines and settled here in Canada that I started to watch Tagalog movies and shows and learned to appreciate them. Mind you, I’m not saying that they’re masterpieces (because they’re definitely not, lol), but I’m not saying that they’re “jologs” either. That is silly notion that the “konyo” crowd needs to realize.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that your post shows a lot of insight. Great job, although here’s just one teeny tiny advice: stick to either just Tagalog or just English, because mixing them together is plain confusing. At least for me it was.

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